Tuesday, 14 January 2014

Friends

WARNING... this post will contain a nice juicy rant!!


Last week I met up with two of my very lovely old work colleagues for a long overdue catch up. We talked and laughed about all things that had been going on in our lives and how sometimes you realise that there are people in your life who make you happy every time you see them but there are also those who quite frankly bring you down. They may not mean to or even know that they're doing it, but their own negativity or personality traits can leave you feeling deflated after spending any amount of time with them. So you're left with the conundrum of continuing the friendship and feeling emotionally exhausted after each rendezvous, or cutting them from you life, a little bit or completely. It's a tough decision to make, especially if it's a friendship that you've invested years into, but at the end of the day we all grow up, we change and evolve, and the common ground that you once shared may no longer be common at all.

When we leave school, a job, uni, there are those friends that no matter how far away you live from each other or how often you see them, when you do it's like you were never apart and the conversation doesn't stop flowing. As I grow up I find I'm becoming far more selective with who I choose to spend my time and energy with. There are friends who I saw 5 days a week and loved spending time with who simply cannot be bothered, so why do we (my group of friends and I) continue to invite them to every gathering, and then feel annoyed because they make up their excuses? We make sure we all get together at least 4 times a year, because our friendships are important to us, and it's just so much bloomin' fun. Then there are the friends who turn up for said gatherings, but then ditch us because there are men to be chased.
For me, it's time to move on and walk away, if they were that good a friend they would make even the slightest bit of effort towards our friendship, rather than fob us off with excuses or if anything with a pulse walks past the bar.

One thing I love about blogging is meeting people that you share interests with, surly it can only be a good thing to have people you can share the things you mutually enjoy with? Apparently not. I recently 'lost' a friend who no longer wanted anything to do with me because I 'copied' her. At the ripe age of 26 I thought the whole 'copying' thing was left behind in primary school 15 years ago, but apparently not. One of the reasons our friendship continued was due to mutual interests, but apparently to my friend that meant we could like the same things but not buy them. When I bought something she had (we both love vintage), the bitching began all over Facebook and Instagram. I couldn't believe it, we like the same things so why wouldn't we both buy them? It seems so ridiculous and childish, but has made me really think about our 'friendship'. Did I really want to be friends with someone who wanted to control my life like that, and bad mouth me to our friends if she didn't get her own way? Not even a little bit.

So from now on I will be investing my time and energy into those true friends, the ones who make your face hurt from laughing so hard, who have your back no matter what, and the one's you would do anything for to stop them from hurting. Goodbye to the users, the friends who drain the happiness out of you with their negativity, and the ones who just can't be bothered anyway.

Thanks for listening to my winging, sometimes you just need to get it off your chest.

Sarah
xx

2 comments:

  1. I agree! As I'm a 'few' years older then you it's something you realise but it's hard to act on. I have a friend that I met about 24 years ago, at the time we got on really well but as the years went on we changed. I dreaded seeing her but couldn't shake her. I still get Christmas cards but don't meet up, this year in my card was a picture of her child (who I've never met!) & a typed note (sent to everyone no doubt) telling us how amazing her daughter is! It's better to have a couple of really good friends, it's all about quality rather than quantity when you're older :) xx

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    1. I hope you didn't bother reading the letter. It's funny how friendships turn out. Dad and I were saying how there are people we lived next door to for 33 years and as soon as we moved they stopped bothering or sending Christmas cards, people who we met on holiday 20+ years ago and haven't seen since, still send cards. People are strange!! xx

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